Hints & Tips
General
Adoption File
Have you submitted your current contact details to the Welfare Agency or Registrar of Adoptions to be placed on the adoption file?
Don't shut the door
If you are contacted, but not yet ready to receive the other person in your life, please don't shut the door. Rather use an intermediary to explain to the other person that you need time.
An intermediary
If possible, use an independent intermediary for the initial contact. It will give the other person time to prepare themselves and/or their families for the reunion. An intermediary can be a social worker, therapist or your church minister.
Limit information
Do not request all the information you have to be posted eg. biological parent's full name. Only the surname will be shown. Give careful consideration to posting your phone number. This information is in a public domain. Emigration
There is a possibility that the other party may have emigrated. Some links to other countries’ adoption websites is provided in the
Resources page.
Other person's point of view Consider the other person and the feelings they may have toward you. Weigh up all the possibilities.
Other important information
Adoptees
Involve your adoptive family
If possible, tell your adoptive family about your intentions to search for your biological family and why you are wanting to do so. You are not being disloyal towards your adoptive parents.
Negative response
Be aware that there may be an inital negative response from a biological parent, for whatever reason. This possibility should not stop you from searching for your biological parents.
Siblings
Keep in mind that biological siblings may have mixed feelings about you and your parent.
Biological Parents
Family
If you haven't done so already, tell your spouse/partner and/or children about the child you gave up for adoption and your intention to search for this child.
Limited contact
The child you are seeking may only want limited contact. Be patient and give them time to resolve any issues they may have.
Adoptive Parents
Please support your adoptive child during this process. An adoptees relationship with a biological parent usually strengthens the relationship with their adoptive parents. An adoptee's search for his/her biological heritage/roots does not mean they do not love you or that they are disrespectful. You are a witness to their childhood and a very important time in their lives.
"If a mother can love more than one child,
why is it so impossible
for a child
to love more than one mother?"
(Unknown)